Bliss

detail  The Ecstasy of St Teresa---BerniniI cannot remember the last time I felt Bliss. It had not even in the last two decades occurred to me to attempt it. I do recall a time when I was a member of a small circle of friends who hunted joy. When I consider the activities at the time it was very Castenadian. I have for days, without much exception, done as I pleased. I have done what I felt like doing. I have embraced amongst the chaos that once would have terrified me, the concept of holiday. There has been nothing so pressing that I must do it. Tomorrow I will begin the chosen duties that will bring the results of action, what ever they may be. But today I move about or am still, as I will.  Perhaps it is better to say without will, for I feel neither leading nor lead.  On the advice of a friend, the only intent I hold is to be happy. I light incense for no one but me if I feel like it, or if it occurs to me. The business of occurring in the mind is an interesting one. I recall in kinesiology class, frustrating the instructor for wanting to know where the thought impulse originates. Finally, she threw up her arms in complete exasperation and directed me to the philosophy dept. I still want to know but at the moment, I am content to allow the universe to reveal itself to me. Deepak Chopra speaks of this. He describes Bliss as a stillness of mind in which the universe cannot help but roll at your feet. That is a beautiful image. I see it in my dog when she rolls at my feet. Pure delight. Pure presence. Pure joy. Today I felt peace, but much more. I felt bliss. Every action raised my energy. Every thought raised my joy. I was filled with gratitude for my life and all it contains. There is a physical sensation that accompanies this feeling and it is the swelling of my chest from the inside out. This is the expression of ecstasy on the face of St Teresa. It is the feeling of a feather lifted on the wind. It is the swirl of autumn leaves in a vortex lifted to the sky.  This is my bliss.

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